David Dunne Still Too Embarrassed To Talk About Attempted Rabona

23 Apr

It’s been almost ten years, but Blackburn midfielder David Dunn still finds it too difficult to talk about the attempted ‘rabona’ he tried to execute whilst playing for Birmingham in a local derby game versus Aston Villa.

‘John Terry’s Bunion’ was swiftly moved away from Dunn’s house by concerned neighbor and friend, Alan Higgins when we tried to contact him.

‘It’s tough on him. People were saying he was the next Gazza. After that one move he was closer to the next Jason Lee with the amount of stick he got. He had dreams of playing for England.’

In a seemingly pointless display of showmanship, Dunn tripped over his own feet whilst attempting the difficult technique, which has since been perfected by players such as Cristiano Ronaldo and Eden Hazard.

‘He’s a good player. He is. But he’s just not quite there is he? I love him to bits but it’s hard on him. For a while he got really fucking fat too. It’s especially hard around the anniversary. He just eats himself to sleep.’

As condolences poured in from ex professionals Geoff Thomas, Ronnie Rosenthal and Diana Ross, Dunn was seen peering through the curtains with a doughnut in hand, smearing a message written in jam on the glass which read simply, ‘hamburgers’.

David Dunn Fat

Hungry

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